The Blank Years

I call the first 10 years after leaving church "the blank years." This is because I pretty much did nothing in the way of religion up until approximately 2 years ago.

Well, I suppose I did try a few new churches out after leaving my old church. I think I was hoping that I would find a community that would be better accepting of me than my previous church.

Unfortunately, the few places I did try were as disheartening as my old church and after a few visits to each I stopped going.

I will say though, that for being a 19 year old kid, I'm pretty proud of my motivation at the time to find a church.

But the funny thing is, I clearly remember not believing in what I was teaching when I was at my old church. And I know that's why I left. So I can't really explain my reasoning for attempting to find a new one to go to since I didn't believe in the stuff anyway.

All I can say, from where I am now, is that I am pretty sure I looked to church as a place to belong and nothing more.

After about a 3 month stint of church searching, I did give up and thus the blank years started.

During the blank years I didn't give much thought to religion of any kind, except to stay the hell away from all of it.

Like I said previously, I did take a few religion and mythology classes and they did pique my interest, but I did nothing further with the information once I left the classroom.

I was completely content with a lack of religion. I didn't think about it. It didn't make a daily appearance into my brain or surrounding life. I didn't have anyone bothering me to go to church and no one asked me anymore why I didn't go. I was pretty much left to my own devices.

So I wonder why it is that in the last two years I've suddenly had this fervent desire to know everything about religion, when for the last 10 I could have cared less...